CARE OR CONTROL

-
Care or control ??
I was in a  a consultation with a middle age couple.They started fighting right in front of me.  The upset husband said- See doc....I 'care' so much for her & this is what I get in return..To which the fuming wife replied- He doesn't care...he just 'controls'...!
The care from one person was perceived as control by another !
Made me think...what is care and what is control?? How to identify them??
Soon I received the answer.
I had an argument with my teenage daughter over a trivial disciplinery issue...Harsh words were exchanged leaving both of us in tears...
After sometime, as our emotions settled down , we said sorry to each other...My daughter hugged me 
and said-Papa ,you know why you got upset?  You were not  upset because I did wrong..but u were upset because I didnt follow your instructions....there is a big difference..!
I was stunned with her mature thinking pattern. ..I received my answer too... I was trying to control her under the disguise of care...that caused the conflict ....
If I really 'care' from someone , I will not get upset or angry with that person...I will keep searching different ways to help him..
If I am struggling in any relationship...I need to closely observe if there is any subtle  control hidden behind my apparent care...because
Care is an expression of love while control is an expression of ego...
Control cuts...Care connects ...
Control hurts...Care heals...
Keep caring for people but dont control them ... because
Often people are not wrong...they are just 'different'...
Keep caring... 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE REAL LAXMI

-
(In the Hindu religion, LAXMI is the Goddess of wealth) " I am Laxmi", she said. I simply looked at her! The contradiction of her name reflected in her attire. Dark skin, crumpled clothes with loud colors, a large bindi adorning her forehead. Laxmi had come to take care of the additional work in my house. She had a son and daughter-in-law, barely in her forties. “My parents married me off very early Memsahab," she said, sipping her tea. She was an early riser. 6.35 am and she would be at the door. At times I felt guilty ... jealous too! My inflated ego of corporate life would deflate before her professionalism. The utensils would be shining, her cleaning was neat and she went about her chores like the formulated excel sheets in my laptop, utmost precision... Weeks passed, I returned home from work one day, to some commotion at my building. An elderly lady had passed away. Neighbors paid condolences and the cremation took place after 2 days. Their children came from abroa
Read more

The Free Prisoner

-
Life - we see it all around us,buzzing, moving, and still.   Happiness and sadness both exist at the same time. This reminds me of the basic principle of accounting - For every credit there is an equal debit.  Happiness, sadness is it real, fake, perception or plain mirage? What we all perceive is with respect to. That one is more happy than me. That one has more wealth than me. That one is more lucky than me.  What does it mean? It means that we ignore our happiness and create sadness for ourselves. We are making ourselves a prisoner of our own thoughts. Is it necessary or has it become the only reason of our existence? The spirit is free and totally devoid of expectations.  Aren't we free prisoners?
Read more

LIFE GOALS

-
Do you often wish that you could change the past?  It's okay to wish you could get a second chance from time-to-time however, it is not okay to desire change every day. You're probably settling for less than you deserve if you're not happy with the way things are. At some point, you have to come to the realization that settling will eventually cause you unhappiness and discontent. You only get one life so live it up without regrets. Life goals..... 
Read more