Borrowing Strength Builds Weakness

Borrowing strength builds weakness is a concept that hit close to home with me.

When you borrow strength from others, you build weakness in your own character.  And just to be clear, we’re not talking about effective delegation.

Trying to do everything yourself is not only ineffective and impractical, but it’s selfish and just plain wasteful.  What we’re talking about here is the idea of staying within your comfort zone, avoiding risk, calling it quits too early, asking for help before you really try, letting your inner weakness take over before you allow your inner strength the opportunity to build you up for the next time, etc.

One of the realities of life is that challenge, struggle, and difficulty will always turn up on your path.  You can count on it.  And what we’re here to remind you of today, is that the other reality of life is that you always have 100% control over your mindset and how you choose to handle those challenges, struggles, and difficulties when they turn up.  Are you going to lie down in a corner and assume a fetal position?  Or are you going to dig in your toes and charge forward?!  Are you going to accept your fate as having been dealt a poor hand with poor circumstances and people in your life?  Or are you going to take control of your choices and play your hand in a creative, powerful, meaningful way? Are you going to choose flight?  Or to fight?!  The choice is yours.

And remember, as my experiences have showed me, you do have a choice.

#1

“Ask not for lighter burdens but for broader shoulders.” ~ Jewish Proverb

#2

“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

#3

“Never be ashamed of a scar.  It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~ Unknown

#4

“Surmounting difficulty is the crucible that forms character.” ~ Anthony Robbins

#5

“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’  No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.” ~ Dalai Lama

#6

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

#7

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

#8

“I’m stronger because I had to be, I’m smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of the sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned.” ~ Unknown

#9

“I keep a prism hanging near the entrance to my home. Its beauty, made possible only by the broken nature of the glass from which it is constructed, serves as a constant reminder that even the broken pieces within each and every one of us can serve as a source of light. It’s a lesson that took me some time to learn.” ~  Rachel Grayczyk

#10

“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

#11

“Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do no pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for power equal to your tasks.” ~ Phillips Brooks

#12

“The storms will come and the winds will rise and the gusts will threaten to pull you from your roots. Let the winds come. Let them rage and know that you will not break in the breeze, you will bend. Bend. Always bend because you are made of more strength than you know, because you are better than the breaking.” ~ Tyler Knott Gregson

#13

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out from the depths.  These people have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.” ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

#14

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~ Christopher Reeve

#15

“Life is an ever-flowing process and somewhere on the path some unpleasant things will pop up – it might leave a scar, but then life is flowing, and like running water, when it stops it grows stale.  Go bravely on, my friend, because each experience teaches us a lesson.  Keep blasting because life is such that sometimes it is nice and sometimes it is not.” ~ Bruce Lee

Only you can make the difference.............

One of our basic desires as humans is the desire to feel as though we are a part of something greater than ourselves.  It’s our desire to feel as though we have contributed, that we have given back, and that we have made a difference in the world – so that we may find comfort in the way we have lived our life.

Too often, we get caught in the trap of thinking that if we can’t make a big enough difference in the world – then it’s not even worth trying.  We play these wonderful, grandiose, and romantic images in our mind of how we can change the world… only to be confronted by the reality of how darn big the world really is!  …And with limited resources and time, our list of blockades, challenges, and excuses tally up and ultimately immobilize us through frustration.

And when that happens… We miss our real opportunity.

Our family.  Our friends.  Our neighbors.  Our co-workers.  Our community members.  These are the people that stand to grow and learn the most from our influence and our ideas.  As someone has rightly said, “The rest of the world isn’t nearly as important as the few who are here.”  Focus too much on the many who are not here and you lose the ones that are right in front of you.  Don’t act backwards.  Start by changing the lives of those who are around you, form deep connections that last (not superficial ones that hardly extend past formalities), and let that influence carry your legacy like a ripple from the center of your community and into the rest of the world.

Want to make a bigger ripple?  Connection is the key.  Connect with like-minded individuals who can help you make a bigger difference right from the stomping grounds of your own backyard.  The size of the ripple multiplies with the size of the team of connected, determined, and readied minds and start figuring out how you can broaden your network of connections and start making a real difference, with the ones closest to you, today.

MOVE FORWARD

"Aage badho,aage badho", the people in the crowded train were saying it to their fellow passengers in spite of knowing that there was almost no place left in the compartment. To my utter surprise the call seemed to work and the crowd adjusted. By the time the train had reached it's stop the people had plonked themselves in their slots. Some of the passengers got out and a new  batch had entered. The same thing happened. It was astonishing and a learning lesson.

The same applies to life too - I see people all the time become victims of their circumstances and life challenges.  When life gets tough or depressing, they adopt a negative perspective and think to themselves about how unfair life is: 

How they should have been born into better circumstances with more money; or how they should have been given better opportunities; or how things should have happened differently.

Well, the truth of the matter is that life is going to happen – sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  The one true thing that you will always have 100% control over is your response to these events.  When you adopt a positive attitude and always look for the good in any given circumstance – how could you not move forward…? 

"Aage badho, aage badho"......

Reaction & Response

Reaction & Response -

Do I have a choice?

In a restaurant where me and my family were dining, suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach's response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear.

With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

 If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my friend or my wife that disturbs me, but its my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, its my reaction to the problem that hurts me.

The Take-Away : The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

We should not react in life, we should always respond. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual. We have the choice to choose our response and our freedom and happiness lies in our choices !

A Tale of Two Seas........ The Joy of Giving, Sharing and being Happy.........

A tale of Two Seas...the joy of giving .....

Sitting in the geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea.  

If you recall, the Dead Sea is really a lake, not a sea. Its so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. One can almost lie down and read a book!

The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water.

And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea.

No fish.

No vegetation.

No sea animals.

Nothing lives in the Dead sea.

Hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school geography lesson.

So, when I heard about the Sea of Galilee & the Dead Sea and, the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea.

Both, the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea, receive their water from river Jordan.

Yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants and lot of fish, too. In fact, the sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, Same source of water, and yet, one sea is full of life, the other is dead.

How come?

Here is why.

The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and out - and that keeps the Sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But, the Dead Sea is so far below the sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams at all. It is estimated that over a million tons of water evaporates from the Dead Sea every day, leaving it salty. Too full of minerals and unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give/flow out.

Result?

No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving, sharing.

We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But, if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea.

The love, the respect, the wealth and the knowledge; could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more of everything, the results can be disastrous.

A good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you must have outlets.

Many outlets for love, wealth and everything else that you get in your life.

Make sure you don't just get, you give out, too.

Open the taps. And you'll be opening the floodgates to happiness.

Make that a habit.

To share

To give.

Experience life.

Experience the magic of giving..!

Credits: Due credit to the author for the above work. I had read this article on the internet long ago and it remained etched in my memory.

True Life Incident.....Life an Ocean..People Waves..

This ain't not from a film, but true.


It is about a certain person by name Mr. Zavere Poonawala, who is a well-known industrialist from Pune.
He had his driver named Gangadatta with him for the last 30 years on his limousine, which was originally owned by Bhagwan Rajneesh, and which Mr Poonawala had bought from him.

Gangadatta passed away recently and at that time Mr. Poonawala was in Mumbai on important work. As soon as he heard the news, he cancelled all his meetings, requested the driver's family to await him for the cremation and he came back immediately by a helicopter.

On reaching Pune, he asked his men to decorate the limo with flowers as he wished Gangadatta should be taken in the same vehicle which he drove since the beginning. When Gangadatta's family agreed to his wishes, Mr. Poonawala sat in the driver's seat and himself drove Gangadatta in his limousine from the house to the ghat on his last journey.

When asked, Mr Poonawala was very sorrowful and replied that Gangadatta had served him day and night and he could at least do this, being eternally grateful to him. He further added that Gangadatta rose up from poverty and educated both his children very well. His daughter is a Chartered accountant and that is so commendable.


His comment in the end is the essence of a successful life in all aspects. "I earned money and successful in life which is nothing unusual, but I should always be grateful to those people who contribute to my success. This is the sanskara (moral value) I have been brought up with which made me do what I did."


Someone has so rightly said: "Life is like a sea. We are moving about without end. Nothing remains with us. What remains are just....the memories of some people, who touched our lives as waves."

BRONNIE WARE's EXPERIENCE - It will help you too....

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. 

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, common themes surfaced again and again."Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."This was the most common regret of all.

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. 

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

"What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?