BIRTHDAY

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IT IS JUST "LABOR OF LOVE" FOR PARENTS

B I R T H D A Y S, to my mind, are best celebrated with those who have brought you to this world; your parents.

They think the world of you and the occasion has great significance for them. I say this from personal experience; I feel the world when it comes to the birthdays of my children. And the chain continues...

I remember my parents this day with gratitude for all their love, care and the hard work in bringing me up and making me what I am. I owe my whole existence to them.

On my birthday, today, I bow my head in reverence and gratitude to the memory of my parents.

Yeah, THAT person

Being in a meaningful relationship is something we all long for. I think we all want that special somebody who can appreciate us for who we are—not how we look; somebody that makes us laugh and comforts us when we cry; somebody who appreciates our quirks and loves our imperfections; somebody who treats us the same whether we’re at our best or at our worst; somebody that gets us excited and somebody we find ourselves naturally drawn to; somebody that doesn’t hold us back but gets us to where we want to be quicker; somebody that we would call our best friend and lover. Yeah, that person.
But I also think that there is far too much pressure to get into a relationship far too fast. Like being single is a bad thing? …It becomes an obsession for way too many people way too early in their lives – as if you get bonus points for getting in a relationship as early in your life as possible! My question is this: What should we really be obsessing overlooking at the grand scheme of things: Getting in a relationship now and figuring out the rest later? Or figuring out the rest now and getting in a relationship when the time’s right?  I would argue the latter.

I think too many people put their focus in the wrong place. What I tend to see happens far too often is people trying really hard to get in a relationship (to the point of it being their only obsession) for the sake of being in a relationship… and one of several things tend to happen:
– They get in a relationship with somebody who is not right for them just for the sake of being in a relationship… and then have bad relationship experiences.
– They start changing who they are to become somebody they’re not in order to impress somebody they want to be with.
– They get lust confused with love and make rash decisions which end up dramatically changing their lives like having a baby.
– They get involved with somebody who is not good for them and takes them down the wrong path – deteriorating their life.
– They start to lose sight of their passions, long-term goals, and ambitions and never fulfill the true potential of what they are capable of achieving.
– They burn bridges with the people around them who they really care about by forgetting/ ignoring/ ditching them and obsessing over their relationship.
– They settle for somebody who is just an “okay” match, stay with them for a decent amount of time, realize that they’re not the best match, but end up being stuck with them because they don’t know how to get out of it or break it off – leaving them together out of fear of hurting the other person, being single again after being in a relationship for so long, or scared of what other people might think.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that relationships are bad and that you should avoid getting in them. In fact, getting into meaningful relationships is one of the most important and significant things that can happen to a person throughout their lifetime. Finding a person that genuinely connects with you and the entirety of who you are can be unmatched by anything else that happens to you throughout your lifetime.

Source - The internet (I don't recall where I had read the above article, but it touched me and taught me a lot. Made me look in a different direction and gave me a different perspective.)

GOD'S PURPOSE

God wants you to know that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

TWO HALVES

Today I am reminded of what enlightened me a few years back.. and lead me into the memory lane - An old lady who used to sit opposite a Masjid near Milan subway in Mumbai.

🌸

*Giving is living.* Give someone a smile to hang on to, give a hand to hold on to; give a shoulder to cry on, give a reason to lean on..

Moving on from there:

Charity. Just a good food for thought.

*A small charity is no big deal. It's a basic human duty.* Do it individually. One for one, one on one, ends up helping one and all. (Don't donate to NGO and wash your hands off, you be a one-man / one-woman NGO yourself and make the difference!)

I see this thus:

This world is divided broadly into 2 categories.

No, not male and female; not rich and poor; not 'ucch' and 'neech'; not 'harijan' and 'girijan'; not even Hindu and Muslim... *it's just the 'haves' and 'have-nots'.*

*Two halves.*

Haves and have-nots are not necessarily the rich and the poor.  Haves are resourceful, viable, feasible and utilitarians. Have-nots are downtrodden, helpless, suppressed and needy.
*They both co-exist and co-exit.*

And hence,

Goodness of a 'have' is to GIVE so that a 'have-not' can LIVE. Godliness of a 'have-not' is to BLESS so that a 'have' can feel the BLISS.

If every 'have' takes care of one 'have-not', each of the have-nots is taken care of. And there by, half the world is taken care of.

And the other half?

It can count its blessings.

😊
Isn't it then, a win-win situation?

Pick one. Make one. Today itself. His/her tomorrow is not far away. It's in your closed palms. Just open it. And hand it over. 🌻

"We are not born as humans, we are born to be humans."

Let's be.
🙏

The above write up is shared by a dear friend of mine Mr. Manohar Nayak - Bombay.

CARE OR CONTROL

Care or control ??

I was in a  a consultation with a middle age couple.They started fighting right in front of me.  The upset husband said- See doc....I 'care' so much for her & this is what I get in return..To which the fuming wife replied- He doesn't care...he just 'controls'...!

The care from one person was perceived as control by another !

Made me think...what is care and what is control?? How to identify them??

Soon I received the answer.

I had an argument with my teenage daughter over a trivial disciplinery issue...Harsh words were exchanged leaving both of us in tears...
After sometime, as our emotions settled down , we said sorry to each other...My daughter hugged me 
and said-Papa ,you know why you got upset?  You were not  upset because I did wrong..but u were upset because I didnt follow your instructions....there is a big difference..!

I was stunned with her mature thinking pattern. ..I received my answer too... I was trying to control her under the disguise of care...that caused the conflict ....

If I really 'care' from someone , I will not get upset or angry with that person...I will keep searching different ways to help him..

If I am struggling in any relationship...I need to closely observe if there is any subtle  control hidden behind my apparent care...because

Care is an expression of love while control is an expression of ego...

Control cuts...Care connects ...

Control hurts...Care heals...

Keep caring for people but dont control them ... because

Often people are not wrong...they are just 'different'...

Keep caring... 

EGO.................the sticky thing

Let’s face it, your ego is too attached to your comfort zone. It is so used to the daily patterns, routines, and habits that it doesn’t want anything to change. It’s clingy.

And the attachment feels safe, but it’s also smothering.  No change means no growth—and no growth means slow death.  What the ego doesn’t see is that right outside of the comfort zone , is the learning zone. And time spent in the learning zone leads to growth—and growth means life.

The first step is to spend time understanding the ego and learning how we can remove it from our everyday experiences.  Because ego, distracts us from important learning opportunities—both in success and in failure—(so that it can stay inside of your comfort zone) and keeps us focused solely on ourselves and how we compare to others.  If we want to maximize our potential, however, the focus should not be on you v/s. them, but rather it should be on you v/s. where you were before.

Remember that the ego will do everything it can to convince you to stay comfy and cozy right where you are with the routine and habits you already have—rise above it and let your ego get a little uncomfortable.  The challenges that are brought forth in the learning zone are the facilitators for growth and without them, your life will be smothered from achieving it’s full potential.  Are you ready to give your ego a kick?

DEATH - Is it so frightful??

I’m sure you have challenges, things that you wish you could overcome, or things that you could get over… Stop.  Stop trying to get over it.  Because if we’re trying to get over all of the problems in our lives then our entire lifetimes are just going to be trying to get over problems—that’s all there is going to be.  And that is not a life to be proud of.  Instead, find those challenges in your life and use them!  Use them and turn them into an opportunity.

No matter how spiritually enlightened you are, or how many times you’ve thought about death and think you are okay with it, you will grieve the life you could have lived when you are dying.  You are losing the person you could have become, the things you could have done, the things you could have made with your life—you are losing that.  And there’s no way to get around that.

Death is actually not a scary thing.  The scary thing is living life without a passion and then realizing at the very last moment that it’s over and you haven’t done what you wanted to do—and that you’re not proud of your life.  That is much more terrifying.