EMOTIONAL POISON

Emotional poison - strange isn't it?

This is what we create by our reaction to what we consider injustice. Some wounds will heal, others will become infected with more and more poison. The moment we are full of emotional poison, we need to release it, and we continue releasing it by giving it to someone else.

The methodology - By hooking that person’s attention.

Let’s take a situation of an ordinary couple. For whatever reason, the wife is mad at the husband. She has a lot of emotional poison from an injustice that comes from her husband. The husband is not home, but she remembers that injustice and the poison multiplies inside. When the husband comes home, the first thing she wants to do is hook his attention. As soon as it happens the transfer of poison happens and subconsciously she feels relieved. As soon as she tells him how bad he is, how stupid or unfair he is, that poison she has inside her is transferred to the husband.

She keeps talking and talking until she gets his attention. The husband finally reacts and gets mad, and she feels better. But now the poison is going through him, and now he has to get even. He has to hook her attention and release the poison, but it’s not just her poison - it’s her poison plus his poison. The manifestation has happened.

If you look at this interaction closely, you will see that they are scratching each other’s wounds and playing ping-pong with the Emotional Poison. The poison keeps growing until someday one of them is going to explode. This is often how humans relate to each other.

By hooking attention, the energy goes from one person to another person. Attention is something very powerful in the human mind. Everyone around the world is hunting the attention of others all the time. When we capture the attention, we create channels of communication. The Dream is transferred, power is transferred, and emotional poison is transferred too.

Usually, we release the poison to the person we think is responsible for the injustice but if that person is powerful that we cannot send it to him, we don’t care to whom we will send it. We send it to the little ones who have no defense against us, and that is how abusive relationships are formed. The people of power abuse the people who have less power because they need to release their emotional poison. We have the need to release the poison, and sometimes we don’t want justice; we just want to release, we want the peace which is evasive. That's why humans are hunting for power all the time, because the more powerful we are, the easier it is to release the poison to the ones who cannot defend themselves.

It becomes of utmost importance to have the realization that we have this problem. If we have the realization, we have the opportunity to heal our emotional body, our emotional mind, and stop the suffering. Without the realization and awareness, there is nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is to keep suffering from the interaction with other humans, not just with others but with ourselves too and we also touch our own wounds just to be punished by our own inability to deal with the problem.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

1......Be Impeccable With Your Word –

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2......Don’t Take Anything Personally –

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3......Don’t Make Assumptions –

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4......Always Do Your Best –

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

INSPIRATION

“Inspiration is a magical thing, a productivity multiplier, a motivator.

But it won’t wait for you.

Inspiration is a now thing. If it grabs you, grab it right back and put it to work.”

“Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action.”

OH...Ego....the destroyer

“Ego takes everything personally."

Emotion arises, defensiveness, perhaps even aggression. Are you defending the truth? No, the truth, in any case, needs no defence. You are defending yourself, or rather the illusion of yourself, the mind-made substitute. It would be even more accurate to say that the illusion is defending itself. If even the simple and straightforward realm of facts can lend itself to egoic distortion and illusion, how much more so the less tangible realm of opinions, viewpoints, and judgements, all of them thought forms that can easily become infused with a sense of “I.”
Every ego confuses opinions and viewpoints with facts. Furthermore, it cannot tell the difference between an event and its reaction to that event. Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation.

Only through awareness—not through thinking—can you differentiate between fact and opinion. Only through awareness are you able to see: There is the situation and here is the anger I feel about it, and then realise there are other ways of approaching the situation, other ways of seeing it and dealing with it. Only through awareness can you see the totality of the situation or person instead of adopting one limited perspective.”

A LITTLE HELP IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED

On a flight recently, 

I noticed a young girl of seven request the stewardess for an orange juice. The stewardess was probably over-worked and responded quite curtly with ‘I will come by later if I remember’. 

The young girl smiled and got up to follow her to the galley.
I noticed that she came back after a short while with a glass of orange juice. 


As she was seated by the aisle next to me,
I struck up a conversation with her.
I asked her what she did when she went to the galley!
She said she offered to help the stewardess if she had too much work.
The stewardess apparently hugged her and appreciated her offer and gave her the orange juice.

So, I asked her why she did that. Her response was absolutely magical!
She said, my mum always tells me that when people are upset, it has more to do with them having to carry the world on their shoulders.
During these moments, she says, I should help offload the world from their shoulders. 

I wish I had had her wisdom when I was her age.
Our parents probably tell us the same variation, but very few implement it like she did. 

So a little help is all that is needed!! 

It could at times just be a smile, a hug or a compliment also.

Lessons learnt :-

* Kindness never goes out of fashion.

* Empathy needs us to be more aware and sensitive to others and our surroundings.

* To reach out to people becomes all the more necessary today in the virtual digital world.

TAKE OUT TIME - YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH

On a cold December Monday night the telephone rang. It was a call from his mother. He answered it and his mother told him, "Mr. Salaskar died last night. The funeral is on Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Arjun, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Arjun said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd remember the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Arjun said.

"You know, Arjun, after your father died, Mr. Salaskar stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important."

"Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Arjun said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Arjun caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Salaskar's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Arjun and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Arjuun paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered.

Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture...Arjun stopped suddenly...

"What'swrong, Arjun?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Arjun said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Arjun remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Salaskar family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Arjun said.

"I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Salaskar died. Returning home from work one day Arjun discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the courier office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Arjun went to the courier office and retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"Mr. Haresh Salaskar" it read.

Arjun took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope.

Arjun's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Arjun Sharma. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filled his eyes, Arjun carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Arjun, Thanks for your time! -- Haresh Salaskar."

"The thing he valued most was my time!"

Arjun held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.*

"Why?" Jhanvi, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with the people I love and say I care for," he said. "Oh, by the way, Jhanvi, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

Think about these. You may not realize it, but it's true.

1. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

2. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

4. You mean the world to someone.

5. If not for you, someone may not be living.

6. You are special and unique.

7. Have trust sooner or later you will get what you wish for or something better.

8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

9. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a hard look: you most likely turned your back on the world and the people who love and care for you.

10. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

12. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.

13. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Share these thoughts with all the people you care about. In doing so, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life...for the better.

To everyone who read this just now.... Stay safe Stay blessed......

GIFT OF IMPERFECTION

What a gift it would be if we were able to drop all of our desires for perfection. And I’m not just talking about some of our desires for perfection—I mean all of them. The desire to look perfect; to have perfect grades/ outcomes/ performances; to be perceived as perfect by others; to have perfect answers to questions; to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling; to have the perfect circumstances; to live the perfect life… Why? Because every single one of these desires creates suffering. They create unattainable, unrealistic goals that lead to constant disappointment, self-judgement, and less acceptance of your self and others. And in this world—in this reality—there is no such thing as perfect.


Perfection is the standard that will drive you mad in its pursuit. Trying to look perfect is the standard that takes positive intentions from being constructive to being extreme and destructive. “Healthy eating” escalates into extreme dieting and/or fasting. “Working out” turns into extreme, obsessive, and/or excessive exercising. Getting a quick aesthetic procedure done escalates into more intense plastic surgery. Moreover, trying to produce perfect results will leave you short every time—unless, of course, you only produce results in areas that never challenge you and are well within your domain of knowledge. Go ahead, answer 2+2 for the rest of your life. That will give you a perfect streak of results. But if you want to grow, being imperfect is a prerequisite—after all, you can’t improve or grow what’s already perfect. And as long as you’re operating under the mindset that you have to be perfect, why would you want to step into a domain that’s outside your area of knowledge and risk being imperfect?

What about wanting to be perceived as perfect by others? Wanting to be perceived as perfect by others means you have to act perfectly in a way that aligns with each of their individual perceptions of perfection and never make a mistake in that acting process. And not only is that a wasted effort (for obvious reasons) but it can be really annoying too. Why do I say that? Because when you really think about it, how do we connect as humans anyway? Is it by being the perfect person? Think about your best friends. Are they perfect? Or are they perfectly imperfect? We connect through our vulnerabilities. It’s precisely what makes us imperfect that leads us to our deepest human connections. Your best friends are the ones who have shown you their biggest weaknesses, their deepest fears, their greatest flaws, their most personal vulnerabilities, and I’m sure your best friends are the only ones who know those things about you too. People who try to be perfect are annoying because they close the door to the exact part of them that lets you in—to connect and really get to know them—when ironically, they’re probably trying to put on a perfect “front” so that other people might “like” them enough to want to connect and really get to know them.

What about wanting to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling? Or wanting to have perfect circumstances or the perfect life? Yeah, good luck with that. We are ALL imperfect people, making imperfect decisions, with imperfect information, under imperfect circumstances, in a wildly imperfect world. I guess, that’s one way to put it, right? Hopefully by now you can see how wanting any sliver of this to be perfect is self-destructive and wasteful. So, how then should we act? What approach would be better? …Why not try adopting the mindset of being perfectly imperfect? Try being wildly authentic in your most true form and apologetically embrace each and every one of your flaws for what they are—the uniqueness-es that make you, YOU! …The person who wouldn’t be who they are without those exact uniqueness as they come together in you. So how should you try to look? FLAW-SOME.... 

How should you try to perform? The absolute best you can with no expectations in mind and ready to recover from mistakes. How should you answer questions? Honestly and/or readily admit your ignorance. How should you live your life? With band-aids ready, lots of reading material, and people you can be vulnerable with. Not only will this be more constructive and useful, but it will lead to more authenticity and connection and less anxiety and stress. 

And that’s something that I think might help us all.