UNSEEN, BUT NOT UNHEARD

 

UNSEEN, BUT NOT UNHEARD…..

There are faces that command the room the moment they step through a door, and then there are faces like Advait's. He was the kind of person who could walk into a crowded cafe and leave without a single soul remembering he was ever there. In the quiet mirror of his own mind, Advait viewed himself as utterly average. He had hair that refused to stay neat, eyes that looked tired even after a full night of sleep, and a quiet personality that made him feel entirely unimportant in a world that roared for attention. Growing up, he had mastered the art of blending into the background. While other young men chased after the spotlight or worried about crafting striking profiles, Advait felt like an extra in a movie where everyone else was playing the lead. He believed his life lacked any significant texture, convinced that his existence was a quiet, grey sketch drawn on the margins of a much larger canvas.

One lazy afternoon, seeking refuge from his own restless thoughts, Advait wandered into the old public garden near the edge of town. It was a sanctuary of ancient banyan trees, moss-covered benches, and patches of sunlight that filtered through the thick canopy like liquid gold. The air smelled of damp earth and blooming jasmine. He found a secluded wooden bench tucked beneath the sprawling branches of a neem tree. Sitting down, he let out a long breath, watching the afternoon shadows stretch across the grass. With slow, absent movements, his fingers traced the rough grain of the bench, and his mind drifted away from his worries. Without any conscious thought, a memory from his grandmother's stories floated to the surface. It was a vivid picture of young Krishna, running through the dusty lanes of Gokul, laughing with butter smeared across his cheeks and a peacock feather tucked neatly into his dark curls. A tender warmth bloomed in Advait's chest. Softly, almost in a whisper, his lips parted and he began to hum a traditional bhajan. It was a simple tune dedicated to the mischievous childhood antics of the divine child, recounting how he stole butter from hanging pots and danced on the hood of the serpent Kaliya with fearless joy. The sound that left his throat was pure, unpolished, and dripping with an inherent, quiet devotion. As the notes grew steadier, his voice carried through the quiet garden air, transforming the ordinary afternoon into something sacred and still.

A few yards away, Aditi was walking along the pebble path with a book in her hand. Suddenly, the music hit her ears, and she froze mid-step. Her book slipped slightly in her grip as she turned her head, searching for the source of a sound that felt less like singing and more like a gentle wind whispering ancient secrets. In that instant, Aditi felt entirely transported to another world. The busy city noises vanished, replaced by the vision of a sunlit courtyard in Vrindavan. She could practically see the cow dust rising under little feet, the playful glint in Krishna's eyes, and the sheer innocence of a world untouched by sorrow, all painted by the breathtaking colors of Advait's voice. Slowly, other people walking in the park stopped in their tracks. Drawn by the gravitational pull of the melody, strangers drifted from the pathways and gathered quietly in a semicircle under the neem tree, their eyes wide with wonder.

Advait, however, knew nothing of this. With his eyes closed tightly and his soul wrapped in the devotion of the song, he remained entirely inside his own universe, completely unaware that a small crowd had formed around him. When the final notes of the bhajan finally melted into the silence of the garden, a heavy, beautiful stillness hung in the air. For a few seconds, nobody moved, as if waking from a shared dream too soon would break the spell. Advait fluttered his eyelids open, blinking against the bright afternoon glare. He looked up and let out a sudden gasp, his heart pounding against his ribs as he stared at the circle of people standing right in front of him. Panic flickered in his chest because he had no idea how to react. Before he could shrink back into himself or apologize for disturbing the peace, someone in the front smiled warmly. A soft ripple of applause broke out, followed by heartfelt words of praise from listeners who thanked him for giving them a moment of pure magic. Flushed and deeply embarrassed, Advait mumbled a shy acknowledgment, keeping his gaze fixed on the grass. Slowly, the crowd began to disperse, whispering among themselves about the incredible voice they had just witnessed, leaving the garden quiet once again.

Aditi, however, remained rooted to her spot, still caught in a gentle trance. She walked over slowly and sat down on the other end of the bench, her eyes shining with an emotion that words could barely capture. They began to talk, starting with hesitant murmurs about the weather and music, before diving into deeper, more meaningful conversations. Over the following weeks, this chance encounter blossomed into a deep and comforting friendship, built on shared afternoon tea and honest confessions. During one of their long talks beneath the banyan tree, Advait fell back into his familiar habit of modesty. He looked down at his hands and called himself an ordinary nobody, a person whose life was too plain to ever matter to anyone. Aditi looked at him with an expression filled with gentle firmness. She did not rush to offer empty reassurances or standard comfort. Instead, she leaned forward, studied his face for a long moment, and spoke from the very depth of her heart.

“Advait, You only see yourself through the lens of your mind or may be the mirror that stands between your appearance and virtuality. But my dear, you don't see yourself when your face lights up at the sight of someone or something you dearly love and value. You don't see yourself glistening and smiling at things and adoring the feelings that awaken your soul from within. You don't listen to yourself when you talk about the books you keep safe, the places you have walked and the songs that add melody to your life. You don't see yourself when you are truly yourself. It's human fallacy that we measure ourselves in spaces, moments and pictures where we are not who we truly are. We are not just not the product of what we have seen, heard or experienced but also of the things, places, conversations and adventures we love.”

Advait sat in absolute silence as her words washed over him like the rain on dry soil. The heavy armor of doubt that he had worn for so many years began to crack, and for the very first time in his life, he caught a clear, beautiful glimpse of his own true worth and that was the turning point that afternoon after which Advait stopped trying to hide in the background of his own story. He still felt ordinary on most days, but the definition of ordinary had changed for him. He understood that when you love the world with a pure heart, you leave a trail of music behind you, even when you are not singing a single note.

CHALTA HAI

 

CHALTA HAI

The Sunday brunch at Advait and Aditi’s home was, on the surface, a picture of domestic harmony. The aroma of saffron and cardamom drifted through the air, but beneath the pleasantries, a familiar tension simmered. Aditi moved through the kitchen with a practiced, quiet grace, while Advait’s sister, Anaya, sat at the dining table, her voice carrying that distinct, sharp edge of a seasoned taana.

"It’s lovely that you have finally found time to cook a proper meal, Aditi," Anaya said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "I suppose those long office hours don't leave much room for family traditions, do they? In our house, we always prioritized the kitchen."

Aditi felt the familiar sting, a knot tightening in her chest. She looked toward Advait, hoping for a flicker of support, but he was staring at his phone, his thumb hovering over a message from his best friend, Aryan. "Aryan canceled again," Advait sighed, tossing the phone onto the table. "That’s the third time this month. He says something came up at the last minute, but I saw his Instagram story at the gym an hour ago."

"Chalta hai, bhai," Anaya chimed in, waving a hand dismissively. "He’s your oldest friend. You know how he is. Why make a fuss?"

That phrase—Chalta hai—hung in the air like a heavy fog. For years, it had been the unspoken mantra of their lives. It was the reason Aditi swallowed Anaya’s constant barbs about her career, and the reason Advait continued to lend money and time to Aryan, knowing neither would ever be truly valued. They were "adjusting" for the sake of peace, but as Aditi looked at the forced smile on her own face in the hallway mirror, she realized that this peace felt a lot like a prison.

"Actually, Anaya," Aditi said, her voice steady despite the frantic beating of her heart. The room went quiet. "I love my work, and it doesn't make me any less a part of this family. When you imply otherwise, it hurts. I have let it pass before because I did not want to create a scene, but I would like us to find a way to talk that does not involve these side-glances at my choices."

Anaya froze, a piece of paratha halfway to her mouth. The "Log kyaa kahenge" alarm bells were practically ringing in her eyes. But before she could retort, Advait looked up, really seeing his wife for the first time in months. He saw the exhaustion she had been hiding behind her silence.

He picked up his phone and typed a message to Aryan: ‘I value our friendship, but I also value my time. If you can’t commit to the plans we make, I would prefer we don't schedule them. Let’s catch up when you can actually show up.’

The silence that followed wasn't the heavy, suffocating kind they were used to, this time it was the clear, sharp air that follows a storm. Anaya eventually cleared her throat and mumbled something about not meaning any harm, her tone significantly softened. Aryan’s reply did not come immediately, but for the first time, Advait did not care.

That evening, as the house grew quiet, Advait and Aditi sat on the balcony. The realization was bittersweet but liberating. They had spent so long fearing that boundaries would break their relationships, only to realize that the lack of them was what was truly eroding their spirit. They understood now that every time they chose silence over a firm "no," they were giving others permission to diminish them.

Aditi leaned her head on Advait’s shoulder, watching the city lights. The cycle of "Chalta hai" had finally been broken, replaced by a much more powerful truth: their peace was not something to be sacrificed for others, but something to be protected by themselves. Because in the end, they were the architects of their own respect, and what they allowed was exactly what would continue. The days that followed were surprisingly quiet, a stark contrast to the noisy, cluttered expectations they had lived with for years. The "Chalta Hai" fog had lifted, but in its place was a crisp, somewhat uncomfortable clarity.

Advait’s phone buzzed on the coffee table on Tuesday evening. It was Aryan. Instead of the usual "Sorry bro, stuck at work" text, it was a call. Advait looked at the screen, his heart performing a nervous skip. In the past, he would have picked up and immediately made a joke to ease the tension, essentially apologizing for Aryan’s own flaky behavior. "Hey," Advait said, keeping his voice neutral.

"Listen, about Sunday..." Aryan’s voice was defensive, laced with the casual arrogance of someone who had never been told 'no.' "I think you are overreacting. We have been friends since school. Since when did we start needing formal appointments and 'time-valuing' speeches?" Advait glanced at Aditi, who was reading nearby. She did not look up, but she reached out and squeezed his hand. That small gesture was the anchor he needed.

"It’s not about formality, Aryan," Advait replied firmly. "It’s about the fact that I spent my Sunday waiting for someone who did not think I was worth a five-second text. Our history does not give you a permanent pass to disregard my life. I am not angry, but I am done allowing it." There was a long, heavy silence on the other end. No jokes, no excuses. Aryan eventually muttered a "Fine, whatever," and hung up. It was not the cinematic reconciliation Advait might have hoped for, but as he put the phone down, he felt a strange lightness. The cycle of being the "reliable friend" who was always stepped on had been broken. He had stopped allowing it, and the friendship would now either evolve into something respectful or fade away. Either way, he was okay.

Meanwhile, the ripples reached the wider family. Anaya had, predictably, called their mother to complain about Aditi’s "new attitude." When the inevitable call came from "Mummy," Aditi didn't hide behind Advait.

"Beta, Anaya was crying," their mother said, her voice heavy with the guilt-tripping tone that had governed their family dynamics for decades. "She said you were very sharp with her. We are family, Aditi. Some things we just ignore for peace. Chalta hai."

"Mummy," Aditi said, her voice soft but unwavering. "I love Anaya, and I love this family. But ‘ignoring for peace' has only meant that I have been living in a state of constant hurt. If me asking for basic respect causes a storm, then maybe the peace we had was not real. I am not asking for her to be perfect; I am just asking her to stop using my choices as a punchline."

The conversation was difficult. It involved tears, long silences, and the uncomfortable dismantling of "Log kya kahenge." But for the first time, Aditi felt like she was standing on solid ground. She realized that by refusing to be the silent martyr, she was actually forcing the family to grow.

Weeks later, the four of them found themselves at a cousin’s wedding. The air was thick with the usual gossip and potential for drama. Aryan was there, and so was Anaya. Aryan approached Advait, looking slightly humbled. "I am heading to that new cafe on Friday. I will be there at seven. If you are free, come. If not, I shall see you another time and I will actually let you know if I am running late." It was a small step, a hairline fracture in his ego, but it was a start.

Anaya, too, was different. She sat with Aditi, and though the urge to make a snide comment about Aditi’s outfit clearly flickered in her eyes, she caught herself. She chose to ask about Aditi’s latest project instead. The conversation was polite, perhaps a bit guarded, but it was clean.

As the wedding music swelled around them, Aditi and Advait shared a look of quiet triumph. They understood now that boundaries were not walls meant to keep people out; they were gates that determined who was healthy enough to enter. They had stopped the "Chalta Hai" hemorrhage. They had learned that you don't get the respect you deserve but you get the respect you demand.

The truth remained as the final note of their story: the world will continue to treat you exactly how you allow it to. And finally, they were allowing themselves to be happy.

What has been your experience with setting boundaries in your own life?

The transition from "Chalta Hai" to "This is not okay" was not a clean break but a slow, sometimes agonizing ache. For Aditi and Advait, the weeks following their stand felt like walking on a freshly set floor - stable, yet requiring careful steps to ensure the cracks did not return.

The Ghost of Guilt

One rainy Tuesday, Aditi sat in her kitchen, the silence of the house feeling unusually heavy. In the past, this silence would have been filled with a phone call from Anaya - a call usually laced with "helpful" criticisms that left Aditi feeling drained. Now, the phone stayed dark. She felt a wave of unexpected grief. Was I too cold? she wondered. The programming of a lifetime the idea that a woman’s worth is measured by how much she can endure without complaining. It was a ghost that refused to leave quietly. She realized that setting a boundary did not just change how Anaya treated her; it changed how she had to view herself. She could no longer be the "martyr," and that loss of identity felt, strangely, like a funeral.

The Cafe: A New Language

Across town, Advait sat at the corner table of a dimly lit cafe, watching the door. It was 6:58 PM. At 7:02 PM, Aryan walked in. There were no loud cheers, no performative "Bhai!" that usually masked their lack of depth. Aryan sat down, looking uncharacteristically somber. "You are on time," Advait noted, his voice soft.

“I did not want to give you another reason to give me a

lecture," Aryan joked, but the usual bite was gone. He looked at his coffee, swirling the foam. "I realized something, Advait. I have been late to everything - not just our plans, but my own life. I figured if my best friend did not care if I showed up, maybe I did not have to show up for myself either."

Advait reached across the table, not for a high-five, but for a firm grip on Aryan's shoulder. The emotion in the air was raw. They were learning a new language: accountability. It was harder than "Chalta hai," but for the first time in ten years, their friendship felt like it was built on rock rather than sand.

The Unspoken Bond

The real breakthrough came a month later when Anaya visited, not with a taana, but with a peace offering: a box of the specific thepla that Aditi loved. They sat on the balcony, the evening sun casting long, golden shadows.

"I did not know how to talk to you if I was not being 'funny' at your expense," Anaya admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "Our mother, our aunts... that’s all I ever saw. Criticism was our way of showing we were paying attention. When you told me to stop, I felt like you were telling me to leave."

Aditi felt a lump in her throat. She took Anaya’s hand. "I don't want you to leave, Anaya. I just want to be seen. Not as a 'working woman' or a 'daughter-in-law,' but as me."

In that moment, the "Log kya kahenge" barrier finally crumbled. They were not performing for a ghost audience of society anymore. They were just two women, exhausted by the weight of expectations, finally choosing to be kind to one another.

The Architecture of Respect

Advait and Aditi realized that their relationship had not just survived the boundaries but it had been saved by them. The "unequal distribution of effort" they once allowed had been replaced by a quiet, rhythmic partnership.

They understood now that:

Boundaries are not walls; they are the foundation of a home where everyone can breathe.

Respect is not a gift; it is a standard that you must model before you can expect it.

"Chalta Hai" is a slow poison; it numbs the pain but eventually kills the connection.

As they watched the stars from their balcony, they knew the world would still try to push against them. People would still be late, relatives would still be nosy, and society would still judge. But the difference was internal. They were no longer allowing their peace to be a variable. It was a constant. Because what you allow is what will continue and they had finally decided to allow only love, respect, and the truth.

Setting boundaries often feels like "losing" the old version of a relationship. Have you ever felt that specific type of grief when you started standing up for yourself?

THE ACHE WE BUILD.....

 

THE ACHE WE BUILD…..

Advait packed his life into cardboard boxes and drove towards the coast of Vizag, fully convinced that the smell of saltwater and the rhythm of the waves would dissolve the residual bitterness of his failed decade. As the car rolled along the highway, he whispered to himself, “The sea will wash me clean. It has to.” The salt air felt like a promise, the new job at the “PRINCE DESIGNS” an architecture firm instilled more confidence in Advait. The apartment overlooking the sea with it’s white walls provided a sense of relief and a hope that the aching chapters of his life would finally close which he had left behind. He told himself not to look back, but the past always has a way of hitching a ride. Life was inching ahead for Advait and he was sort of settling in the new environment.

Three months later, at a gallery opening, Aditi stepped into his life like a soft glowing light. She carried careful hope and a private, folded hurt. Advait noticed her standing by a painting of a stormy sea, her eyes studying the brushstrokes and her delicate fingers hovering just above the canvas as if searching for something which was probably lost in the sea. He walked over, hesitant but drawn to her. “Do you like it?” he asked softly. Aditi turned, her smile small but genuine. “It feels… honest. Like the sea is not pretending to be kind.” They talked late into the night about the painting and the paintings, places they had been to and they wanted to go, and the strange ways silence could sometimes feel louder than words. For a while, everything between them felt soft and possible, like two people who had finally found a shelter amidst the pounding rain. Probably they were destined to meet, hesitantly but willingly they shared the apartment, but the newness did not last. Little things began to sting in ways they had not expected. One evening, Aditi laughed at a message on her phone. Advait’s chest tightened. He was not seeing her smile; he was seeing the shadow of someone who had betrayed him before. “Who was that?” he asked, trying to sound casual. “Just Meera,” Aditi replied, without lifting her eyes from the phone. “She sent me a silly meme.” Advait went mute and the silence created a space where unspoken thoughts grew louder than speech. In that vacuum the fear found fertile ground and the old thoughts and experiences started creeping in with authority. The weight of past betrayals surfaced again, convincing him that Aditi’s casualness was nothing else but rejection, and he accepted this distortion as reality.

Aditi loved her evenings alone with paint and music. When Advait grew quiet, she read it as a closing door. The fear of being left behind which was planted during her childhood, returned with super speed. It was not a conscious worry but an automatic reflex, a script her brain had memorised long ago. She folded herself smaller, waiting for the moment she had always been taught to expect. “Are you… tired of me?” she asked one night, her voice barely a whisper. Advait looked up, startled. “No, I am just… tired. That’s all.” But she did not believe him. Silence became accusation. A careless word turned into proof of a long-ago hurt. They stopped meeting each other in the present and began to argue with the past.

One rainy night, a set of keys on the counter became the spark. Advait had a hard day at work and was already on the edge, he snapped. “You always assume the worst of me!” he shouted. Aditi’s voice trembled but rose. “And you always shut me out! Do you know what that feels like?” The living room felt like a courtroom where old wounds were being tried again. They both were saying things that belonged to other people, other years, and the words hit like swords.

After the storm they did not speak for three days. The apartment felt too big and too small at once. They moved around each other like strangers, each convinced they were the one who had been wronged. The silence was loud and careful, a waiting game neither wanted to lose. On the fourth evening, Advait pushed his plate away and looked at Aditi with a tiredness that felt older than the fight. “I need to tell you something,” he said quietly. “The sea did not take my pain with it. I carried it here, like a suitcase I never opened. And I have been seeing you through that lens… forcing you into a role which you never chose.” Aditi’s eyes softened. She listened, her defences loosening. “I have been reading your silence as a sign of leaving,” she admitted. “Not as a sign of being tired. I treated you like a symbol of my past instead of a person standing right in front of me.”

For a while they stood in a strange, empty place devoid of the armour of blame, without the stories that had kept them safe. It was raw, frightening. “So what do we do now?” Aditi asked. Advait reached for her hand. “Maybe… when fear rises, we ask if it’s real now. Not a memory dressed up as the present.” She nodded, tears in her eyes. “I can try that with you.” They hugged each other silently, a non spoken assurance that they were ready to face their fears and they needed each other’s support. It was clumsy work. They stumbled, apologised, and tried again. “I am tired,” Advait would say, before silence could grow heavy. “I am scared,” Aditi would whisper, before her fear could turn into anger. They learned to say small things early - “I need space,” “I need you close”. This time the communication was loud and clear so much so that the silence did not become a verdict.

Slowly, the apartment began to breathe. The heavy air lifted. They started to see each other clearly, not as the sum of old wounds but as two people with small, present flaws and quiet, present strengths. They laughed more. They forgave more easily. The ache did not vanish, but it softened because they stopped using an old map to find a new place. The apartment was becoming a home. A home where insecurities and flaws were accepted.

They stood on the balcony, the sea rising and falling slow and steady. Advait wrapped his arm around Aditi. “We don’t need the world to make up for what we lost,” he said. Aditi leaned into him, her voice steady. “We just need to open our hands, let the past remain in history, and finally allow our future to begin.” Advait’s fingers found Aditi’s; they did not need to speak the names of their hurts because the rhythm of their breathing said it for them. They understood then that healing was not the erasure of memory but the gentle choosing, again and again, to meet what was true now. They folded the past and tucked it neatly and with a small, steady courage, decided not to let THE ACHE WE BUILD become the blueprint for every tomorrow. The future arrived not as a grand promise but as a soft, patient opening – a light they could step into together. For the first time in a long while, they felt the future stirring. It was fragile, brave, and theirs.

THE UNSPOKEN

 

THE UNSPOKEN

Advait pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window. The train slowed down and pulled into Nashik station, He was standing on this platform after fifteen years. On the hot summer night of 10^th May with one bag and a rage he had left his city completely justified at that time. Now he had come back with a suitcase, a head of greying hair at forty-one, and a heavy feeling in his chest that he could not name. His sister Aditi had called four days ago and told him that their mother was not going to last the week. Her voice had been flat, the way voices get when someone has been strong for too long.

"I will be there," Advait said. There was a pause on the line. A silence of fifteen years in it.

"Okay," Aditi said. Just that. Okay.

On way home in the auto-rickshaw the thoughts of yesterday arrived in succession. He watched the town pass by, some things remained and some had changed. A big mall stood where the old cinema hall used to be. A flyover cut across the road on which he had ridden his bicycle as a boy. The lane to their house was unchanged, narrow, with bougainvillea spilling over the compound wall of the Deshmukh house next door. The red flowers looked too bright for a day like this. He paused at his own gate for a moment before going in. This time the house appeared smaller than he remembered. The paint had gone pale and the garden his mother had attended every morning was still there, but it was not that tidy now. He knocked, even though it was his home. It was instinctively he did that. It just felt wrong to walk in although he had spent his childhood there, but those fifteen years. Aditi opened the door. She had cut her hair short and there were lines around her eyes that had not been there the last time he had seen her face on a video call three Diwalis ago. In person, she looked tired and worn out.

"You came," she said. "Of course I had to, " Advait was a bit flustered. 

She stepped aside to let him in. The house still smelled the same. Fifteen years and the smell had not changed, old wood and incense and something that could only was his mother's cooking, all folded into a single scent and that hit him deep.

"She's sleeping," Aditi said. "The doctor had come in the afternoon. He says maybe two, three days now." Advait just nodded.

Putting his bag down he followed Aditi to the kitchen. She heated up some dal and rice without even asking him if he was hungry and put the plate in front of him and sat across the table with a glass of water, watching him eat the way their mother used to, making sure that they actually finished. The hesitation of fifteen years clearly was showing. They talked but nothing important. The weather, the auto fare from the station and if the salt was ok in the dal. Small words trying to fill a large space.

After dinner, Aditi took him to his old room. She had put fresh sheets on the bed. His old cricket posters were gone from the walls and the room was clean and bare, like a guest room in a house. It looked like a place that was not sure whether to remember the occupant or not.

"Get some rest," she said from the doorway.

"Aditi," Advait said, looking at her.

"We can talk tomorrow," she said. Not with anger, but with a firm expression. He heard her door close. As he lay on the bed the ceiling was the same one he had stared at as a teenager, lying awake with his headphones, planning the life he was going to escape to. He had done it and gone to Pune for college, then Mumbai for work, then further, a career in urban planning which took him across the country. He had built things. Roads, parks, housing projects that thousands of people lived in now and had made a good life for himself, but his own house was fractured.

He had also made a lot of phone calls that were too short and a lot of birthday messages that arrived a day late and a lot of reasons not to come home.

At two in the morning, finally he gave up on sleep and walked out into the hallway. He stopped at his mother's door. It was ajar, he pushed it gently and went in. She was lying on her back, very still, her chest rising and falling slowly. The room was dark except for a small lamp in the corner. She looked thin. Smaller than he had seen her last. Her hair had turned completely white and her face showing with age.

He sat in the chair next to her bed, he did not touch her. He just sat there, watching her breathe, something he had not done in fifteen years. After a while, he got up and went back to the hallway.

That was when he noticed the cupboard which was his father's old wooden one that had always been there. His father had died three years ago. A second heart attack. Advait had come for the funeral, stayed four days, and left. He and Aditi had barely spoken even then.

The bottom drawer of the cupboard was slightly open. Inside was an old tin, it’s lid dented on one side. He remembered that his father used to keep important papers in it. Reaching out he opened the tin. Inside were letters. Not one or two, but a thick stack of them. It was his father's handwriting, that particular slanting script, always in blue ink. They were all addressed to Advait and none of them had been posted. Some of them did not even have envelopes. They were just folded papers, carefully dated, stacked by year.

His hands were shaking as he unfolded the first one. It was from 2011. The year after he had left home.

Advait,

I heard from Suresh uncle that you got the job at the firm in Mumbai. I am not going to pretend that I was not waiting to hear from you. Your mother thinks I am still angry with you, but I am not. I don't know what I am anymore. Maybe I was wrong about the engineering. Maybe I was right. How does it matter now. I just want to know if you are ok. That is all. Your mother doesn't sleep well.

Love Baba.

Advait sat down on the hallway floor, right there, back against the wall and kept reading letter after letter. His father had made a list of him. Read about a housing project in a magazine, a development in Navi Mumbai. A journalist had mentioned the name of the young planner who had designed the community park inside it. His father had torn the page out and kept it. It was folded inside the letter.

I showed this to your mother and she cried, but she told me not to tell you that she cried.

His father had a minor health scare. He didn't call Advait. He wrote a letter instead, and then did not send it.

I thought about calling you, but decided against it. I did not want you to leave your work and come. Also, I was afraid and what if you wouldn't come. That would have been worse, That’s the reason I did not even call you.

His father had found Advait's Instagram, someone must have shown him how. He wrote about a photo Advait had posted at a friend's wedding, in a blue kurta, laughing at something outside the frame.

You looked happy. That is the right word. Happy. I thought you would call sometime. I thought I would call sometime. Neither of us ever did. I don't know whose fault that is. Probably mine.

The last letter was from March 2020 exactly Two years before he died.

Advait,

I am getting older and I spend more time thinking about things I did not say. I was never good at talking, even when you were small. My father did not talk either, maybe that’s an excuse or it’s simply true. Whatever it is but believe me I am proud of you. I should have said it to you. I am saying it now. I am proud of you. The work you do matters. You matter. Come home sometimes. Your mother misses you. I miss you too, though I don't know how to say that out loud. I miss you.

Advait put the letter down on his lap. He pressed the back of his hand against his mouth and sat very still, the way you do when something is trying to break open inside you and at two in the morning and you don't want to wake anyone. He sat like that for a long time and did not hear Aditi come out of her room until she was standing right next to him. She looked at the tin on the floor and the letters in his hand. She had known about them long ago.

"You knew," he said. She sat down on the floor beside him, back against the wall, the way they used to sit as children, watching cricket on the small TV in this same hallway when their parents thought they were asleep.

"I found them when I was going through his things," she said quietly. "After the funeral. I read all of them."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Advait had a lump in his throat.

She was quiet for a moment. "I was not sure would it be ok to tell you. Or maybe," She stopped. "Maybe I was angry."

"At me." Advait said.

"At you. At him. At all of it." She pulled her knees to her chest. "He wrote letters to you for ten years and never sent a single one. The things he could not say out loud. And you were the one who had left. And yet you were the one he was writing to."

Advait did not say anything because he could feel the unfairness of it, just as she had felt it. The silence sat between them.

"I'm sorry," he said resting his head on Aditi’s shoulder.

"You don't have to be sorry for what you chose." She looked at the wall ahead. "I am not angry anymore. I was, for a long time but now I am just tired."

They sat in the quiet hallway. The house breathed around them.

"You never told me," he said slowly, "what happened here after I left."

Aditi looked at him. "It got harder. Baba's blood pressure. Then Aai started having her knee trouble. The house needed fixing constantly. I was working and managing everything at the same time. It was fine and we were managing."

"You gave up your plan," Advait said. "The Delhi one." There was a deep silence and it was heavy.

"Where did you hear that?" Her voice was careful.

"I did not hear it from anyone. I just remembered, you had finished your project and were waiting for a letter that summer. I left before it came but after that I never asked what happened."

Aditi was very still for a moment.

"I had received a reply for the Social Sciences program," she said.

“It was a good college."

"You didn't go."

"No."

The “NO” sat between them, small and heavy as stone.

"Aditi,"

"Don't." Her voice was soft but clear. "Don't say sorry again. There's nothing to apologise for. I had made a choice and I could have gone, but I chose not to." She looked at him in the eye for the first time since they had sat down. "Aai and Baba were not helpless. They would have managed but I just, did not go when I looked at that letter and thought that if I also leave, then who holds this place? Who stays?" She gave a small smile.

"Foolish, maybe."

"Not foolish," Advait said.

"No. Not foolish. Just, what I was." She paused. "What I decided to be."

Advait was now shaking from inside and was feeling bad about her. In spite of so much she had endured and sacrificed she was not bitter and she never complained. But now he could feel her pain. He thought about his own years, the freedom and the choice of making his life. All this time he thought that leaving the house is a kind of courage but he was wrong. Staying without freedom was a bigger courage. Both of them were living their choices.

"I should have called more," he said.

"Yes."

"I should have come back more often."

"Yes."

"I think," he started, then stopped. He tried again. "I think I was afraid of this house, afraid of the feeling I had inside me. Afraid that staying in a small town would dwarf me and my potential. I thought if I stayed away long enough, the thoughts would stop following me."

"Did it?"

"No," he said. "I just carried it somewhere else and labelled it freedom."

A small sound came from their mother's room. A shift in the bed. Both of them went very still and listened. Nothing followed. She was still sleeping.

"She talked about you all the time," Aditi said quietly. "Even when she was pretending not to. She had see something on the news, some new road or overpass, and she would say, that's the kind of thing your brother does."

Advait closed his eyes.

Aditi said. "She missed you terribly and she was proud of you. Both feelings, at the same time. That was very much her."

"And Baba? What did he say? What were his words?"

Aditi thought about it. "Nothing directly. But sometimes in the evenings, when there was nothing on TV, he would step into your room and look at your photo and just say your name - Advait. Just the name. And then nothing after it. As if saying it out loud was enough."

That was the thing that finally broke the dam, not the unsent words on paper, but this. His name, said into a quiet room, as a complete sentence in itself. His father in his old chair, saying his son's name the way you say the name of something precious that you are not sure how to hold.

Advait leaned his head back against the wall. The tears came and trickled down his cheeks. Aditi did not react or put her hand on his shoulder. She simply stayed there beside him and allowed the fifteen years to flow.

When Advait was done, she got up without a word and came back from the kitchen with two cups of chai and sat down on the floor beside him. The sips were the only sound at that time. The chai was too sweet, Aditi had always liked more sugar than anyone else in this family. Advait did not say anything about it, it tasted exactly right.

"I will come back more," he said. "After everything. I will actually come back."

Aditi looked at her cup. "You can stay for a while now, if you want. There's no hurry to leave."

It was an offering which he took.

"Okay," he said.

Advait was on one side of the bed, Aditi on the other. Her breathing had been slow all night, growing softer. And then, somewhere in that golden early hour, it simply stopped. There was no struggle. She looked peaceful and they were holding their mother's hand while she was leaving for her final journey. She had a light smile on her face as if she knew something they did not.

The room was very quiet. Aditi pressed her mother's hand to her cheek and held it there. Advait stayed where he was. Neither of them spoke for a long time.

Later, when the phone calls had been made and the neighbours had come and the house had filled with noise and the movements, Advait stepped out into the garden alone.

He stood there and looked at it. The bougainvillea from the Deshmukh house had spread further over the wall. And along the fence, in a corner a bunch of small white flowers, his mother's jasmine was in full bloom. He had not noticed it last night. It must have just opened.

He stood still and thought about all the things that don't get said between people. Not because the feeling isn't there, but because feeling something and saying it out loud are two completely different abilities, and some families never manage to build both. His father had written it all down and kept it in a tin. His mother had expressed it through quiet pride. Aditi had expressed it by simply not leaving. And he had expressed nothing at all, just gone, and kept going, and told himself that was a life.

All of them loving each other in their own language which they knew which wasn't enough. And all of them knowing it wasn't enough. And none of them knowing how to learn another.

He heard the door open behind him. Aditi came and stood next to him. They looked at the jasmine together.

"She planted that along the fence the year I was born," Aditi said. "She told me once, years ago. I don't think she ever told you."

"No," Advait said. "There's a lot we didn't know about each other."

"Yes," she said.

They stood there in the morning, close enough that their shoulders were almost touching. Two people who had grown up under the same roof, breathing the same air, eating at the same table, and had somehow, across the years, through silence and distance and all the things that went unsaid, become strangers to each other. Not through cruelty but just through the slow, quiet drifting that happens when no one ever says wait, stop, I need to tell you something.

But now, in the light of this morning, with their mother just gone and their father's letters still on the hallway floor where Advait had left them the night before, they were finding their way back.

Not with big speeches nor with explanations or apologies and not trying to cover the fifteen years in one go.

Just standing in the garden. Beside each other. Finally, after all this time, not looking away.

The jasmine moved very slightly in the morning air as if acknowledging the new found connection.

THE WRITER'S DILEMMA

 

Advait did not write to see his name in print or to settle scores. He wrote because the world had so much to offer and he needed to share it back with the world. For him, a blank page was a window to the myraid hues of the world. He captured the mundane, the way a stranger’s hand trembled while reaching for a bus handle, the forced laughters at the celebrity parties, or the heavy, unsaid weight that sits between two people who have run out of things to say. He was observing life and being a witness, but some people around him felt that he was becoming a mirror they never asked him to look into.

Initialliy they were whispers, eventually they transformed into ripples and soon turned into waves. It started when his cousin, who stopped visiting after Advait wrote a piece about the quiet resentment that simmers in a house where love has been replaced by habit. "Why are you telling everyone our business?" she had hissed over the phone. Advait sat there, holding the receiver in a daze. He had not even been thinking of her and neither he was aware of the ongoings in their home. He had simply watched a flickering streetlamp and thought about things that are burnt out but still forced to stay upright.

Advait's close companion accused him of stalking because Advait penned a story about the secret guilt of a man hiding a debt. "If you wanted to judge me, you could have done it to my face," the friend texted, before blocking him. Advait stared at his screen, his heart thumping against his ribs. He was not aware nor he had any inkling that his friend was in debt. He had just observed the way a man at the bank looked at his balance and felt a sudden, sharp pang of anxiety.

Countless such incidents hit Advait hard and he steadily created a isolated cocoon around him which became his comfort zone. He started staying indoors, afraid that if he looked too closely at a neighbor’s garden or a passerby’s tired eyes, he would accidentally "steal" a piece of their reality. He began to feel like a freak of nature, a peeping tom who did not even need to peek through windows to know what was happening behind them. The frustration began to boil over into a cold, biting irritation. He would pace his room, throwing his pen down in a fit of rage, questioning his own sanity.

"Have I developed some sort of curse?" he wondered. "Am I a psychic? Or am I just a predator who doesn't realize he's hunting?"

He tried to reason with the silence of his room. He looked at his stack of journals, feeling a sudden urge to burn them all. He asked himself if he was truly a monster, if his "sharp eye" was actually a weapon he was wielding unconsciously. But then, in the middle of the night, a chilling thought struck him, it was harder to swallow than the idea of having superpowers.

Maybe he was not special at all. Maybe he was not seeing their lives specifically. Maybe he was just touching a nerve that belonged to everyone. He realized that when people saw themselves in his words, it was not because he was a spy, but it was because they were finally seeing their own secrets written in plain English, and the exposure terrified them. They called it stalking because "truth" was too harsh to face.

Advait picked up his pen again, his fingers shaking slightly. He looked out the window at the city lights, thousands of lives flickering in the dark, each one convinced of its own unique tragedy. He realized he was at the crossroads. He could stop writing and find peace in the silence, or he could keep going and accept that he would always be the villain in someone else’s story just because he could notice the stitches in the fabric of their reality.

As he placed the tip of the pen on a fresh page. The ink seeped into the paper, a small blue dot growing larger, like an eye opening for the first time. He thought about the man he had seen earlier today, the one who was standing by the bridge, looking not at the water, but at his own hands. Advait’s chest tightened. He knew that feeling. He knew what that man was thinking, even if he did not know his name.

He began to write. He did not know if he was a healer or a bearer of bad news, but he knew he could not stop. The door to his room was locked, but the world was still pouring in through the crevices. 

Advait intently looked at his fingers holding the very ink pen that people mistook for a weapon. He realized that no matter how much he retreated into the shadows, the world would always find its reflection in his notebook, turning his empathy into an intrusion and his observation into a crime. As the first sentence took shape, he wondered who would be the first person to call him a liar tomorrow.

He was trapped in a cage of his own making, where every honest line he scratched onto the page built a wall between him and the people he cared for, leaving him to wonder if he should go blind to find peace or keep seeing and stay lonely. He took a deep breath, his hand hovering over the fresh, white sheet, numbed by the terrifying realization that his greatest gift was his reason of isolation - a haunting, permanent state of THE WRITER'S DILEMMA.

I, ME and MYSELF

 

I, ME and MYSELF

The life at the City Park had no schedule, no entry, and no exit. It was just a floor of infinite glass reflecting a sky that refused to turn dark. I sat there, my pulse thrumming in my ears, anchored to a wooden bench that felt more real than the ground beneath it. This was not a place where everything was rushing, it was a place for reckoning. I had spent thirty years running from the man I was supposed to be, constructing a life out of distractions and noise, but here, the silence was a vacuum. I was waiting for him to arrive, and for the first time in my life, I had nowhere left to hide. I had always known we would have to meet eventually. It’s a strange thing, isn't it? To live inside a body and yet feel like you have locked the rightful owner in the basement. I checked my watch, but the hands were not moving. Time here did not tick, it just drifted.

Then, I saw him.

He was not a younger version of me, nor was he older. He was just... me. He wore a sweater which I had thrown away years ago because someone told me the color did not suit me. He walked with a stride I recognized from the old movies - unfiltered, heavy-footed, and entirely unapologetic.

My heart performed a somersault which was a slow, painful roll in my chest. I wanted to run away, but my shadow was already stitched to his across the glass floor. As he came closer, I felt that familiar, icy dread. I knew what was coming. I knew the one question that had been rotting in the back of my mind like a fresh fruit left in a lunchbox in the summer.

He sat down next to me. He did not look angry. He just looked tired, the way you look after a very long walk through a very beautiful forest. For a long time, we just watched the horizon change from amber to a deep, bruised purple. "You look like you have seen a ghost," he said. His voice was my voice, but without the practiced "professional" edge which I had spent a decade honing. It was lower, grainier, and infinitely more honest. "I feel like I am looking at one," I whispered. I kept my eyes fixed on my polished shoes. I had polished them this morning until they shone, a habit that I had picked up to prove to the world that I had my life together.

"You have been busy," he noted, nudging my shiny shoe with his scuffed sneaker. "A lot of meetings. A lot of lists. A lot of making sure everyone else is comfortable while you sit in rooms with the air conditioning turned too low." I nodded in agreement, the lump in my throat growing until it felt like I had swallowed a stone. This was it. The moment I had been afraid of. I turned to him, my eyes stinging, and finally let the words out.

"Where were you?" I asked, my voice cracking. "Where were you all this time?"

I expected him to shout. I expected him to list every hobby I had abandoned, every dream I had traded for "stability," and every time I had silenced my own intuition to please a stranger. I expected an allegation.

Instead, he reached out and took my hand. His skin was warm. "I was not anywhere else," he said softly. "I was right here. I was in the pauses between your breaths when you were too stressed to think. I was in the songs you hummed when you thought no one was listening." 

"But I left you," I argued, the tears finally spilling over. "I ignored you. I grew up and I left you behind because I thought you were too loud, too messy, and too much for the world to handle."

He leaned back, looking up at the purple sky. "You did not leave me. You just put me in your pocket for safekeeping. You thought you had to be someone else to survive the 'real world,' and honestly? You did a pretty good job of surviving. You got us through some really hard years."

The "Where was I?" I had feared was not a question of abandonment. It was a question of endurance. He had not been lost, but he had been waiting for the environment to be safe enough for him to come back out. "I'm sorry," I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. "I am so sorry I made you stay in the dark for so long."

He did not tell me it was okay, not in that dismissive way people do. He just put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. We sat there for an eternity or a second, it was impossible to tell.

"The thing about meeting yourself," he whispered, "is that you don't need to apologize for the ways you learned to stay alive. But now that we are both here... maybe we could try being 'too much' together?"

I looked up and saw some children forming a train their arms entangled in each other. Seeing me seeing them, they stopped as if the train had arrived at the station. The train was a colorful, clattering thing, covered in stickers and smelling like rain and old books. It was full of life and zest.

I stood up, and for the first time in years, I did not check my watch. I did not look at my reflection to see if my hair was perfect. I just reached out, took his hand, and together, we hopped onto the train.