LIFE GOALS

Do you often wish that you could change the past? 

It's okay to wish you could get a second chance from time-to-time however, it is not okay to desire change every day. You're probably settling for less than you deserve if you're not happy with the way things are.

At some point, you have to come to the realization that settling will eventually cause you unhappiness and discontent. You only get one life so live it up without regrets.

Life goals..... 

AM I A PUZZLE?

• Don’t solve me. Am I a puzzle that has one solution?. I am forever changing. Even in the matter of one moment, I am no longer the same person. I and my problems in life are ever-changing, evolving, evaporating, and re-appearing— and so are yours. We are two shape-shifters looking into each other and trying to describe how the other looks. What’s the point? I do not need you to tell me who I am. I need you to accept and appreciate me for the mess that I will always be. 

MAN O MAN

 The MAN – a creature on the face of this earth capable of thinking, having feelings, and emotions.

As society evolved so did the MAN. Blessed with a powerful physical ability vis a vis woman. The expectations and roles of the man too evolved and the bar raised every passing day.

A male child once he descends is fitted with templates.

* Be a man.

* Don’t cry like a woman.

* You are the torch bearer of the family.

And many more.

The layers of artificial attributes keep on adding every day. But sadly the man is never allowed to display the real him.

Tears, intense emotions are a strict NO.

MAN O MAN

VIRTUAL GIRLFRIEND

 "So Aryan, did you ever have a girlfriend?" Aryan's fiancée Rohini asked him.

"Well, virtually yes, but practically no," Aryan replied.

"What ?? I did not get you..." She said and twitched her nose.

"Well it's a long tale, are you sure you would want to hear it?" Aryan asked.

"Sure sure, go, ahead," Rohini said.

Aryan started, "During my college days, I was never a handsome and fit guy like I am today." "Self-praise haan!" Rohini intercepted. "During those days, I was a dull, boring, and unattractive guy with a nerdy look. Also jealous as every other friend of mine had a girlfriend, but I never had one."

At a 31st December party, I had been out drinking with my friends especially my friend Sohan. We were good friends, but he was of those mastikhor type. Sozzled up I was. The rum let my emotions loose that night. I blabbered to Sohan that I did not have a girlfriend and was regretting it. Like a pro, he gave his gyaan and pushed me onto the highway of social media to look for one."

I jumped at his suggestion and started my journey of FACEBOOK, TINDER, OK CUPID, and whatnot. Some cool status updates, some good poses with glares and flashy clothes, and a few friend requests. I was already feeling like a casanova. A pop-up on my phone popped my eyes. Whoaaa a friend request was accepted by "MARIA". Cloud nine was too small for me. I was on the eighteenth one or maybe higher.

A casual "hi" and I was rolling. Chatting non-stop and liking each other came naturally. In a short time, Maria was like an oasis in a desert. Made for each other types. From pin to elephant we talked endlessly. It went to a point of calling each other by names like "Sweetheart", "Shona", "Munmun", "Teddy Bear" and all that. I almost married her in my thoughts.

Irritatingly Rohini said, "O...Hello!!!!"

Aryan chuckled, "Miss Jealous, let me finish...."

An angry look flashed on Rohini's face, "Okay, shoot!!"

"Yeah, I loved Maria. I was feeling like a movie hero and was thanking Sohan for these lively moments. I took an Old Monk and romped to Sohan's PG accommodation. Greeted by Ramu kaka at the door I went to Sohan's room. He was in the bathroom happily singing. I took out my phone and pinged Maria. A beep and I was conscious. Another message, another beep. Confused I started looking around. "What's this?????" I murmured. What is Maria's profile doing on Sohan's laptop? For once I felt I was being double-crossed and started hating Sohan for stealing my only girlfriend."

With trembling hands, I messaged again, and POP the chat window opened. This was the most terrifying moment, much worse than all the exams which I had given till now.

"Ha ha ha ha.." Rohini couldn't stop laughing Sohan is always a prankster. I just love him for it. By the way, my future husband, what did you do next?"

"Just nothing," Aryan said. I had seen through Sohan's game and was very upset with him. I locked the bathroom door from outside and waited for him to finish his bath. The door opened only after he begged and showered me with a million sorries and regrets. He had no other choice because for how long he could be in his towel in that winter."

" Rohini honestly that was the day when our real friendship started and we became best buddies."

"Oooh, so that's how you took your revenge on Sohan?" Rohini said.

"Revenge no not exactly. Does it fit in friendship? He gave me the best of moments with Maria and made me step into the world of romance and love. Well yes, I took revenge. I just got engaged to his sister and am going to marry her very soon, you see." Aryan said sheepishly.

Rohini blushed and smiled with love. Suddenly her phone rang. She looked at Aryan. "Who's there?"

"Your Shona," Rohini said with a mischievous smile.

"Haha hahaha. That's so funny. Now pick up the call madam" Aryan replied.

"Hello!!! MARIA...Oops, I mean hello Bhai..."

THE REAL LAXMI

(In the Hindu religion, LAXMI is the Goddess of wealth)

" I am Laxmi", she said. I simply looked at her! The contradiction of her name reflected in her attire. Dark skin, crumpled clothes with loud colors, a large bindi adorning her forehead.

Laxmi had come to take care of the additional work in my house. She had a son and daughter-in-law, barely in her forties. “My parents married me off very early Memsahab," she said, sipping her tea.

She was an early riser. 6.35 am and she would be at the door. At times I felt guilty ... jealous too! My inflated ego of corporate life would deflate before her professionalism. The utensils would be shining, her cleaning was neat and she went about her chores like the formulated excel sheets in my laptop, utmost precision...

Weeks passed, I returned home from work one day, to some commotion at my building. An elderly lady had passed away. Neighbors paid condolences and the cremation took place after 2 days. Their children came from abroad. Relatives and people around helped with the last rites.

On a leisurely Sunday, Laxmi had her share of chai time with me and narrated an incident related to the neighbor's cremation. Laxmi used to take care of the elderly couple at times, the lady of the house was sick and disabled. “What Kaliyug, Memsahab!” She said. “The daughter in law’s didn’t turn up. Only one son came for the funeral. I gave a good farewell to that Aunty. I bathed her with Ganga Jal, draped a new saree, put her green bangles, gajra, bindi, and toe rings. She was like a mother to me...Memsahab, she was the Gruhalaxmi and malkin (landlady) of the house. How can I send her like a sick woman? Even I have to reply to God, na?” Saying this she picked the teacups.

Made me wonder...who was the real Laxmi?

EMOTIONAL POISON

Emotional poison - strange isn't it?

This is what we create by our reaction to what we consider injustice. Some wounds will heal, others will become infected with more and more poison. The moment we are full of emotional poison, we need to release it, and we continue releasing it by giving it to someone else.

The methodology - By hooking that person’s attention.

Let’s take a situation of an ordinary couple. For whatever reason, the wife is mad at the husband. She has a lot of emotional poison from an injustice that comes from her husband. The husband is not home, but she remembers that injustice and the poison multiplies inside. When the husband comes home, the first thing she wants to do is hook his attention. As soon as it happens the transfer of poison happens and subconsciously she feels relieved. As soon as she tells him how bad he is, how stupid or unfair he is, that poison she has inside her is transferred to the husband.

She keeps talking and talking until she gets his attention. The husband finally reacts and gets mad, and she feels better. But now the poison is going through him, and now he has to get even. He has to hook her attention and release the poison, but it’s not just her poison - it’s her poison plus his poison. The manifestation has happened.

If you look at this interaction closely, you will see that they are scratching each other’s wounds and playing ping-pong with the Emotional Poison. The poison keeps growing until someday one of them is going to explode. This is often how humans relate to each other.

By hooking attention, the energy goes from one person to another person. Attention is something very powerful in the human mind. Everyone around the world is hunting the attention of others all the time. When we capture the attention, we create channels of communication. The Dream is transferred, power is transferred, and emotional poison is transferred too.

Usually, we release the poison to the person we think is responsible for the injustice but if that person is powerful that we cannot send it to him, we don’t care to whom we will send it. We send it to the little ones who have no defense against us, and that is how abusive relationships are formed. The people of power abuse the people who have less power because they need to release their emotional poison. We have the need to release the poison, and sometimes we don’t want justice; we just want to release, we want the peace which is evasive. That's why humans are hunting for power all the time, because the more powerful we are, the easier it is to release the poison to the ones who cannot defend themselves.

It becomes of utmost importance to have the realization that we have this problem. If we have the realization, we have the opportunity to heal our emotional body, our emotional mind, and stop the suffering. Without the realization and awareness, there is nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is to keep suffering from the interaction with other humans, not just with others but with ourselves too and we also touch our own wounds just to be punished by our own inability to deal with the problem.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

1......Be Impeccable With Your Word –

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2......Don’t Take Anything Personally –

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3......Don’t Make Assumptions –

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4......Always Do Your Best –

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.