WITH LOVE

 

WITH LOVE 

 

WITH LOVE

The night wrapped around me—heavy, silent, unrelenting—just like my eyelids. I couldn’t fight them anymore. And then came the tears: hot, helpless, endless. They spilled for you, my love. I wept, remembering you, remembering the winters we spent so warm and safe in each other’s arms.

I had promised myself I wouldn’t let this break me. I truly believed I could stay strong. But how could I not fall apart when you left me with so much? So many pieces of you, scattered across my life—memories that still scream your name in every quiet corner.

How do I bury something that was never just a part of my past, but my entire idea of a future?

How could you walk away from us? How could you go searching for love again, as if what we had meant nothing? Did you ever stop to think about the thousands of hours, the quiet glances, the laughter, the tears—the life we built together—before you decided to walk away? Was I so easy to forget?

It feels impossible, almost inhuman, to be someone’s everything one day and mean nothing the next.

No matter how hard I try to move on, no matter who stands in front of me—even if they’re everything I ever thought I wanted—I can’t. I’ve tried, really, truly tried. But every time I close my eyes, I see only you. I hear only your voice. I feel only your touch.

It’s a mystery to me—how you could turn away and never look back. Because even after all the pain, after every hurt, I was still there. Still yours. Still believing. Still loving you with everything I had.

And now? Now I feel completely lost.

With love, Me.

WORLD BACK UP DAY 31st MARCH

Today 31st March 2021 I got two notifications on my phone.

1.. From my calendar app saying that today is WORLD BACKUP DAY MAR 31ST...strange I was not aware of this.

2... The phone software said new updates are available. Please back up your data and update. Nothing unusual.

Suddenly a thought struck me - The dumb smartphone reminds me about updates and periodically tells me to back up my contents. 

Do we do this in our everyday life? Do we express our gratitude everytime? Do we thank our family, friends and acquaintances? Do we acknowledge the universe for what it has bestowed upon us?

The almighty has blessed us beyond measure.

Just like if we do not back up our data we stand to lose our valuable information. The same applies to our relationships too. Isn't it?

May you back up everyday.

LIFE GOALS

Do you often wish that you could change the past? 

It's okay to wish you could get a second chance from time-to-time however, it is not okay to desire change every day. You're probably settling for less than you deserve if you're not happy with the way things are.

At some point, you have to come to the realization that settling will eventually cause you unhappiness and discontent. You only get one life so live it up without regrets.

Life goals..... 

AM I A PUZZLE?

• Don’t solve me. Am I a puzzle that has one solution?. I am forever changing. Even in the matter of one moment, I am no longer the same person. I and my problems in life are ever-changing, evolving, evaporating, and re-appearing— and so are yours. We are two shape-shifters looking into each other and trying to describe how the other looks. What’s the point? I do not need you to tell me who I am. I need you to accept and appreciate me for the mess that I will always be. 

MAN O MAN

 The MAN – a creature on the face of this earth capable of thinking, having feelings, and emotions.

As society evolved so did the MAN. Blessed with a powerful physical ability vis a vis woman. The expectations and roles of the man too evolved and the bar raised every passing day.

A male child once he descends is fitted with templates.

* Be a man.

* Don’t cry like a woman.

* You are the torch bearer of the family.

And many more.

The layers of artificial attributes keep on adding every day. But sadly the man is never allowed to display the real him.

Tears, intense emotions are a strict NO.

MAN O MAN

VIRTUAL GIRLFRIEND

 "So Aryan, did you ever have a girlfriend?" Aryan's fiancée Rohini asked him.

"Well, virtually yes, but practically no," Aryan replied.

"What ?? I did not get you..." She said and twitched her nose.

"Well it's a long tale, are you sure you would want to hear it?" Aryan asked.

"Sure sure, go, ahead," Rohini said.

Aryan started, "During my college days, I was never a handsome and fit guy like I am today." "Self-praise haan!" Rohini intercepted. "During those days, I was a dull, boring, and unattractive guy with a nerdy look. Also jealous as every other friend of mine had a girlfriend, but I never had one."

At a 31st December party, I had been out drinking with my friends especially my friend Sohan. We were good friends, but he was of those mastikhor type. Sozzled up I was. The rum let my emotions loose that night. I blabbered to Sohan that I did not have a girlfriend and was regretting it. Like a pro, he gave his gyaan and pushed me onto the highway of social media to look for one."

I jumped at his suggestion and started my journey of FACEBOOK, TINDER, OK CUPID, and whatnot. Some cool status updates, some good poses with glares and flashy clothes, and a few friend requests. I was already feeling like a casanova. A pop-up on my phone popped my eyes. Whoaaa a friend request was accepted by "MARIA". Cloud nine was too small for me. I was on the eighteenth one or maybe higher.

A casual "hi" and I was rolling. Chatting non-stop and liking each other came naturally. In a short time, Maria was like an oasis in a desert. Made for each other types. From pin to elephant we talked endlessly. It went to a point of calling each other by names like "Sweetheart", "Shona", "Munmun", "Teddy Bear" and all that. I almost married her in my thoughts.

Irritatingly Rohini said, "O...Hello!!!!"

Aryan chuckled, "Miss Jealous, let me finish...."

An angry look flashed on Rohini's face, "Okay, shoot!!"

"Yeah, I loved Maria. I was feeling like a movie hero and was thanking Sohan for these lively moments. I took an Old Monk and romped to Sohan's PG accommodation. Greeted by Ramu kaka at the door I went to Sohan's room. He was in the bathroom happily singing. I took out my phone and pinged Maria. A beep and I was conscious. Another message, another beep. Confused I started looking around. "What's this?????" I murmured. What is Maria's profile doing on Sohan's laptop? For once I felt I was being double-crossed and started hating Sohan for stealing my only girlfriend."

With trembling hands, I messaged again, and POP the chat window opened. This was the most terrifying moment, much worse than all the exams which I had given till now.

"Ha ha ha ha.." Rohini couldn't stop laughing Sohan is always a prankster. I just love him for it. By the way, my future husband, what did you do next?"

"Just nothing," Aryan said. I had seen through Sohan's game and was very upset with him. I locked the bathroom door from outside and waited for him to finish his bath. The door opened only after he begged and showered me with a million sorries and regrets. He had no other choice because for how long he could be in his towel in that winter."

" Rohini honestly that was the day when our real friendship started and we became best buddies."

"Oooh, so that's how you took your revenge on Sohan?" Rohini said.

"Revenge no not exactly. Does it fit in friendship? He gave me the best of moments with Maria and made me step into the world of romance and love. Well yes, I took revenge. I just got engaged to his sister and am going to marry her very soon, you see." Aryan said sheepishly.

Rohini blushed and smiled with love. Suddenly her phone rang. She looked at Aryan. "Who's there?"

"Your Shona," Rohini said with a mischievous smile.

"Haha hahaha. That's so funny. Now pick up the call madam" Aryan replied.

"Hello!!! MARIA...Oops, I mean hello Bhai..."

THE REAL LAXMI

(In the Hindu religion, LAXMI is the Goddess of wealth)

" I am Laxmi", she said. I simply looked at her! The contradiction of her name reflected in her attire. Dark skin, crumpled clothes with loud colors, a large bindi adorning her forehead.

Laxmi had come to take care of the additional work in my house. She had a son and daughter-in-law, barely in her forties. “My parents married me off very early Memsahab," she said, sipping her tea.

She was an early riser. 6.35 am and she would be at the door. At times I felt guilty ... jealous too! My inflated ego of corporate life would deflate before her professionalism. The utensils would be shining, her cleaning was neat and she went about her chores like the formulated excel sheets in my laptop, utmost precision...

Weeks passed, I returned home from work one day, to some commotion at my building. An elderly lady had passed away. Neighbors paid condolences and the cremation took place after 2 days. Their children came from abroad. Relatives and people around helped with the last rites.

On a leisurely Sunday, Laxmi had her share of chai time with me and narrated an incident related to the neighbor's cremation. Laxmi used to take care of the elderly couple at times, the lady of the house was sick and disabled. “What Kaliyug, Memsahab!” She said. “The daughter in law’s didn’t turn up. Only one son came for the funeral. I gave a good farewell to that Aunty. I bathed her with Ganga Jal, draped a new saree, put her green bangles, gajra, bindi, and toe rings. She was like a mother to me...Memsahab, she was the Gruhalaxmi and malkin (landlady) of the house. How can I send her like a sick woman? Even I have to reply to God, na?” Saying this she picked the teacups.

Made me wonder...who was the real Laxmi?